1) The Ignorant man is full of superficial ideas about life, constantly having the impression that he knows a great deal about almost anything. He runs from one woman to another and from one relationship to another, only looking for easy and selfish pleasures.
The Initiated man has high ideals to which he dedicates most of his thoughts and aspirations. He engages profoundly and consciously in spiritual relationships, aiming to make his lover happy.

2) Once he finds a woman he likes, the Ignorant man uses her to satisfy his own pleasures, and aims to satisfy any of her small desires in order to make her depend on him.
The Initiated man maintains his verticality on his path to perfection, while aiming at the same time to make his lover truly happy. He helps her build her own way towards happiness.

3) Due to his selfishness and superficiality, the Ignorant man tends to run away from the woman in his life when the relationship becomes too serious.
The Initiated man maintains the state of transfiguration and continues to deepen the relationship, making it a truly serious relationship.

4) The Ignorant man knows nothing about sexual continence and “buys” his sexual satisfactions by making compromises with his lover.
The Initiated man practices sexual continence and knows the secrets of transmutation and sublimation, enabling him to erotically fulfill his lover without becoming addicted to sensual pleasure.

5) The Ignorant man aims to make the woman depend on his presence and he forcefully imposes certain ideas or even his own limitations on her.
The Initiated man aims to perfect himself and allows his lover to choose her path, being confident in love and the victory of authentic values over superficial temptations.

6) By not knowing and not applying sexual continence, the Ignorant man constantly remains at the same level regarding the art of lovemaking. He has sex in a superficial way, dominated by primal instincts and aiming for quick satisfaction. He encourages inferior tendencies within the woman and has no concern for her erotic fulfillment.
Day by day, the Initiated man comes closer to perfection in the art of lovemaking with continence and has no other purpose for lovemaking than to merge with his lover at the highest levels and to reach the state of happiness and perfect androgyny together. He is firm in applying sexual continence and he encourages his lover in this direction.

7) Out of the desire to prove himself able, the Ignorant man chases women, but he never gets too close to his lover, keeping a “comfortable” distance from her at the level of the soul. He chooses to spend most of his time alone and see this attitude as a proof of his manhood.
The Initiated man knows the absolute importance of love and the importance of sacrifice in love, therefore he does not waste any moments, always opening towards his lover and giving love. In all women he sees the cosmic lover – Parashakti – whom he adores eternally.

8) The Ignorant man is delighted by bad girls who satisfy his primal instincts, especially during sexual interaction. Due to his ignorance and downward tendency, he despises so-called good girls. Qualities such as purity, modesty, intelligence, refined sensuality, profound affection, spontaneity, and spiritual openness are seen as handicaps to him.
The Initiated man adores women and transfigures them. In this way, he can see the specific divine qualities in any woman. He appreciates “good girls” and through his transfiguration, he encourages them to bring to light and fully manifest all their latent qualities, of which they are often unaware.

9) The Ignorant man quickly reaches orgasm with ejaculation, leaving the woman frustrated and tormented. As a result, lovemaking is an effort which tires him out over time. This is why he gradually replaces it with watching TV, making comments about football matches, drinking alcohol and so on.
The Initiated man effortlessly engages in erotic fusions, which, due to sexual continence, become occasions to make his lover happy and in this way to reach states of cosmic consciousness together.

10) Due to his superficiality and his ignorance about sexual continence, the Ignorant man has a subconscious fear that he cannot fulfill women erotically. This is why he aims to impose on her the image of a tough man or a macho man which includes many sexual limitations, meant to make her have less desires.
The Initiated man maintains his self control due to his effortless control over the sexual energy. This is why his attitude is natural and without any prejudices, and as a result he encourages his lover to develop her creativity through lovemaking games.

11) Lacking self confidence, the Ignorant man aims to keep the woman he likes addicted to him, satisfying her moods and requests and not daring to tell her when she makes mistakes.
The Initiated man sets his lover free, knowing that the effect of strong polarization is stronger than any dependency.

12) Because he completely lacks life experience and is often caught up in his states and experiences at the surface level, the Ignorant man is only present in the couple relationship when it is pleasant, and he runs away when the woman has to pass certain tests, considering that it is her business.
The Initiated man knows the value of self sacrifice, which comes from love, and he stands by his lover when she has certain problems, offering her his strong support.

13) The Ignorant man takes what he wants from the relationship, without considering whether what he wants is also what the woman wants. He believes that what matters is that he is happy and content.
The Initiated man follows the tantric principle: “The greatest happiness of the tantric man is to make his lover completely happy.” Therefore, he engages in a couple relationship with the belief that to give is more important than what he would take by himself.

14) When he suffers from certain mistakes in the couple relationship, the Ignorant man completely blames the woman and is satisfied with himself, saying that he did everything he could do.
The Initiated man aims to become perfect in any situation and does not avoid the responsibilities he has within the couple relationship.

15) When he falls in love, the Ignorant man doesn’t see anything else and behaves as if he’s blinded by his desires. Thus, he easily becomes the victim of his own illusions.
The Initiated man falls in love with his heart, for him the state of falling in love is an extraordinary way of accessing higher levels of manifestation, he is constantly attentive to the divine game of synchronicities.

Hearing these things, the Ignorant man will feel indifferent, and believe that it is not about him. Only in certain cases will the Ignorant man pull himself together and make a system of transformation. In other cases, the Ignorant man will superficially laugh at these revelations, avoiding any in depth analysis, or he will violently reject any of the statements above.
In silence, The Initiated man will listen carefully to all these statements and lucidly analyse his inner state, identifying the areas he still needs to work on. At the same time, he will already make a plan for future transformations, including his lover in this process of clarification and self-analysis.

Taken from "The Spiritual Couple Relationship" conference kept by Mihai and Adina Stoian in 2006 in Costinesti, Romania.